In This Together [And An Invitation to the Coffee + Crumbs Brunch]
I walked into the restaurant, my pregnant belly arriving minutes before the rest of me. “Multiples group?” I asked the hostess. She led me toward the corner where a few tables were pushed together and about ten moms sat around chatting.
It was my first time meeting most of the women there. I had just joined the group shortly after finding out I had two little ones on the way. A few other twin mamas I knew suggested getting plugged into a moms of multiples group, and, to be honest, I was skeptical. I had a strong community around me, family who lived nearby, and plenty of other mom friends. But I agreed to check it out.
I took my seat as gracefully as I could—which wasn’t very graceful at all (picture a whale attempting to sit on a bicycle seat). After a few smiles and handshakes, one of the leaders of the group asked everyone to introduce themselves. We circled around the table, taking turns sharing the ages of our multiples and a little about ourselves. My shoulders relaxed as I listened. This is what I needed, I thought.
Our server brought out plates of appetizers and desserts, and we each settled into deeper conversations. I don’t remember how the topic came up, but somehow it did, and I ended up talking to another mama next to me about vaginal versus C-section delivery for twins and how she breastfed two at once. No, not just the fact that she breastfed twins, but practically how.
In any other circumstance, this would be an extremely odd conversation to have. But what I was most afraid of while pregnant—and what turned out to be the most challenging for me as a new mom—was feeding my twins. This conversation about the difficulties and successes, the extremely practical and personal details none of us minded sharing, was one I so desperately needed. I needed to know it was possible to breastfeed two babies, and I needed to know it was okay if I couldn’t. I needed to hear from moms of twins who advocated for their vaginal delivery, and mamas who opted to have a scheduled C-section. I needed to hear from another mom not to be alarmed if the babies have to spend a little time in the NICU.
Read the full essay and sign up for our virtual brunch at Coffee + Crumbs.
