Why Do We Need to Watch the Way We Speak? [James Study Week 7, James 3:1-12]
When I was a kid, nearly every time my brother and I got in an argument or said something mean to each other (which was often), my mom would quote Ephesians 4:29 to us. It was infuriating, because I couldn’t justify my harsh words while she was reciting Scripture (I’m sure I tried, though). Paul wrote, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).
I rolled my eyes at my mom plenty when she said those words. But that verse has stuck with me more than almost any other. Paul told the church in Ephesus that our speech matters. It can build up or tear down the ones we’re speaking to—and others around us who are listening.
“Our speech, just like the rest of our actions, should reflect the character and the kingdom of God.”
James gets at the same idea in his letter. He’s brought up the issue of speaking already (1:13, 19-20, 26; 2:3, 12), and in this chapter he really zeroes in on it. Our speech, just like the rest of our actions, should reflect the character and the kingdom of God. Or, as James put it in chapter 2, “So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty” (verse 12).
That sounds simple, but can be so difficult to live out. Yet our speech is one of the primary ways we demonstrate what it means to be God’s new creation people. As followers of Jesus, therefore, we have to learn to control our tongues.
A Warning for Teachers: James 3:1
Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.
James 3:1
This chapter starts with a warning to teachers. And while I think James specifically addresses those in the local church context who were teachers, it’s worth noting that these days, anyone can teach in some capacity. Even if we’re not standing on a stage, anyone can share their thoughts, opinions, and what they believe in some form on the Internet. We need to take this seriously, because our words have consequences. We may have small audiences, we may not be teaching from the pulpit, and we may not know if anyone is even listening to what we’re trying to say. But as James says, if we’re attempting to teach truth (using any medium, I would argue), we need to be very cautious and very humble.
As someone aspiring to do more Bible teaching, this is convicting. Our public teaching and our private words must be used to heal rather than harm, to speak truth rather than lies. The responsibility to stand before others (even if that “standing” is on a digital platform) and say something about God and the world has to be handled carefully and stewarded well. Likewise, what we say out of the public sphere must be in line with the truth we say we believe. We can all name prominent Christian leaders whose private words contradicted the gospel they preached. This should not be, and as teachers, we carry an extra weight of responsibility for how we use both our public and private words.
What we say as we teach matters, and so too do our motives. Jesus called out the scribes who “for a pretense make long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation,” he said (Luke 20:47). As I think about my own desire to teach, I’ve been wrestling with a humbling question. Am I wanting to teach to proclaim Christ, or am I being like the scribes who wanted to make themselves great? It’s a question worth careful consideration on a regular basis. Teachers, we need to check ourselves—and have people around us who can hold us accountable in the way we speak.
Steering in the Right Direction: James 3:2-6
For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.
James 3:2-6
Thankfully, James recognizes that we all, even teachers, stumble. James was a real person who did life with a very real, human, sinful group of believers. He knew we wouldn’t get this right completely, but our speech can be a strong indicator of the depth of our faith. In verse 2, the word “perfect” gets more at the idea of “maturity.” If we can control our tongues, we will show ourselves to be spiritually mature.
James then offers three metaphors—a bit for a horse, the rudder of a ship, and a fire. A bit and rudder are small parts of the whole, just like the tongue. But they hold incredible power. Our tongues, while they’re a small part of our bodies, have great power. We can use them to heal or harm, to build up or tear down, to love or to hate. Which direction are our tongues steering us? Every word we say (or write) can lead us and others in the direction of Christ-likeness or hellish destruction.
We’re no strangers to the danger of fires these days, especially if you live in the western part of the United States. Wildfires have ravaged our country, and it’s heartbreaking to see the loss of human lives, property, and God’s creation. The tongue can do the same thing, James tells us.
The term James uses for “hell” in verse 6 is Gehenna. Gehenna “had been a site of pagan sacrifices by fire in the OT era...and...it came to be the garbage dump of Jerusalem, a place of perpetual burning. By the NT era, Gehenna was used of the place of eternal, fiery punishment and corruption” [1]. What a sobering reality. Our tongues can be a representation of the fires of hell or the new life of the kingdom of God.
We see every day how hateful speech from public figures leaves destruction in its wake. We see how verbal abuse can damage someone for their entire lives. We know that a hurtful word can ring in our ears for years to come. That old rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me…” well, that’s a lie. Maybe we can brush off some hurtful words for a while, but words matter.
We can probably all recount times in our lives when we’ve been hurt by what someone has said. And we have all hurt others with our words. None of us are blameless in this area, James reminds us. We all stumble. So what do we do?
Just like every other sin, we confess, repent, seek forgiveness from God and those we’ve wronged, and practice living in a way that reflects the character and the kingdom of God. The fire of the tongue corrupts all of us (“staining the whole body”), but as God’s people, we’re to keep ourselves unstained (James 1:27). Our speech should lead us and others in the right direction, steering us toward life and not death. This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a part of being continually renewed and sanctified by the grace of God and the power of the Spirit.
Demonstrating the Kingdom in Our Speech: James 3:7-12
For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.
James 3:7-12
Genesis tells us that humans were created to rule over and steward the rest of creation (Genesis 1:24-28). Yet, we can’t seem to get our own tongues in line. We can tame the beasts, but not our own speech. James’ word, “restless,” is the same word he uses in 1:8 when he says the doubter is double-minded, “unstable in all his ways.” When we cannot control our speech, we’re unstable and restless—like the double-minded person being tossed around by the waves.
In verse 9, James mentions cursing people made in the likeness of God. If we more fully grasped and then remembered in every interaction with another human being that they are made in the image of God, how would we respond to them? Would we gossip about them? Would we rush to snap judgments? Would we treat them harshly? Would we interrupt them believing our point is more important? Would we be quick to speak or quick to listen? Would we assume the worst? Would we be arrogant and boastful?
Every human being bears the image of God, although we’ve tarnished that image with our sin. But we are to treat every single person as if they carry the likeness of the Creator—because they do! That doesn’t mean we don’t correct or exhort others. That doesn’t mean we become a doormat and let verbal abuse trample us. But it does mean that we control our own tongues and display the kingdom and the character of God in the way we speak to others—no matter who they are, what they believe, and dare I say, who they vote for.
There’s been far too much slander, gossip, harshness, and arrogance in our speech—and I’m talking primarily to myself and others who consider themselves part of the body of Christ. We should be the first to be gracious, kind, respectful, loving, and so many other things (which we’ll talk about more in the next post).
James goes on to say that a tree can’t bear two kinds of fruit. Both fresh and saltwater can’t come from the same spring. Neither should hellish speech and then supposed Christian sentiments come from the same mouth. I’m guilty of this. I’m guilty of using my speech to tear down. I’m guilty of being harsh with my kids, gossiping, judging, even slandering. All are sins from the pit of hell. Maybe this is starting to sound like a “hellfire and brimstone” post, but look at James’ words, not mine. The tongue is a fire set by hell (James 2:6).
Friends, we need to pay attention. We need to watch the way we speak to our kids, spouses, friends. We need to be aware of the words we use on social media, how we comment, if we’re gossiping about others, if we’re tearing down people.
Every word we say should depict the kingdom and the character of God. That is a tall order and one I’ve failed to follow many times. But it’s a call God will continue to teach us how to obey by the power of the Holy Spirit until Christ returns.
What if the Church did this well?
The way we speak to each other is one of the Church’s great downfalls, especially in modern times. Spend two minutes on social media reading anything about the election—from Christians—and we quickly see that we have not tamed our tongues. Like a spark lighting a wildfire, our failure to control our tongues has wreaked havoc in every area of life. How are we any different from the world?
“What if we spoke to every human being believing they bear the image of God?”
But what if we led by example here? What if we spoke to every human being believing they bear the image of God? What if we were slow to speak and actually listened? What if the Church used our words in such a radically loving way that others wanted to talk to us?
Have you ever met those people who, when you talk to them, you just feel heard and encouraged? Even if they’re offering constructive criticism or pointing out something they disagree with, you knew it came from a place of love? I have those friends, and it’s life-giving to be around them. I want to be a better person because of them. They love their neighbor in the way they speak and listen, and that’s what the whole Church is called to do.
This doesn’t mean we always have to agree or that we let sin slide. But it does mean we check our tone, our gossip, our quick judgments, our arrogance, our complaints, our grumbling, our harsh words, our volume level, our online comments, and every other way we use our speech. Everything we say can be used to tear down or build up. It comes from hell or it comes from heaven.
May we use our speech to demonstrate the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven.
Reflect
What else does Scripture say about our speech? Look at Psalm 10:7, Psalm 140:3, Proverbs 16:27, Proverbs 26:18-24, Mark 7:14-23, and Galatians 5:13-15.
When have you used your words in a destructive way recently? If you can’t think of anything, consider reflecting a little more. We all stumble in this area—in different ways and to different degrees—but none of us has completely tamed our tongues. Take time to confess, repent, and pray that God would help you use your speech as a means to love him and love others. If necessary, confess to others you’ve wronged through your words.
This prayer from the Valley of Vision has stuck with me since I read it a few months ago. As this prayer says, may our lives be a foundation of sweet water. Consider praying this prayer throughout the week as you think and pray about how you use your words.
[1] Longman, Tremper, David E. Garland, et al. Hebrews—Revelation. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006, p 247.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. May not copy or download more than 500 consecutive verses of the ESV Bible or more than one half of any book of the ESV Bible.
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