Rethinking Our Mealtime Prayers [recognizing dependence, avoiding forgetfulness, and practicing gratitude for our food]

May 27

I kick the oven door shut as I balance a hot tray of baked chicken in my hands. While easing it down on the counter, I call for my kids to wash their hands and help set the table, a task that usually takes longer and ends up messier with their help. But we’re getting there. The three little ones scurry to the sink, set out plates and napkins, then eventually take their seats at the table. They fight over who sits where, despite the fact that we sit in the same seats nearly every single night.

They also fight about who gets to pray. I tell myself their enthusiasm is a good thing.

We’ve set a schedule for who prays over the meal each night of the week, a habit I grew up with in my family. I never realized until this year that it was probably because my mom dealt with those same fights 30 years ago. It’s Monday night, and my two-year-old proudly declares, “My pray!”

I nod my head. “Yes, buddy, it is your day. Close your eyes and fold your hands, so you’re not distracted.”

My youngest clasps his hands together and sets them on the table. He bows his head on top of his hands, fully immersed in a posture of prayer. This one doesn’t do anything half-heartedly. I hear him murmur a few “thank yous” and “Jesus,” and then suddenly a very declarative, “AMEN!”

That counts, right? I silently ask God. Out of the mouths of babes?”[1]

I don’t know what my youngest understands at this point about prayer or even about God, but I hope that this act of regularly praying before our meals will someday sink into my kids’ souls—and I hope it keeps sinking into mine.

Recognizing Dependence

Growing up in a Christian home, we prayed regularly before meals. Sometimes the practice felt more meaningful, like before a Thanksgiving feast or on Easter Sunday as we focused on all we had been given. Other times, the mealtime prayer has been one I’ve struggled to utter: I didn’t really want to thank God for breakfast the morning my mom died. But most days, prayer before meals dwindles to a quick sentence said in a rush, one that grants permission to finally eat.

For many of us, saying grace can easily become trite and meaningless. But prayer before our meals is not just “something we do” as Christians. Instead, it’s a way to acknowledge our need and God’s provision—provision for our daily bread and provision as the Bread of Life.

When prayer before meals becomes rote, I wonder if it’s because we have forgotten to ask for our daily bread in the first place. For me, starvation hasn’t been lurking around the corner, and when we’re out of food, we just go buy more. Sure, I have to stick to a budget, and I rarely buy name brand products. There were a number of years growing up when my parents struggled financially. I was too young to realize our meals came from groceries left on our doorstep or were purchased with money left in our mailbox. In college, I consumed more instant noodles than anyone should, and in grad school I breathed a sigh of relief every time my landlord made a home cooked meal and offered me some.

But I have never known true hunger, and I’ve found that when I can easily go buy my organic, sprouted, daily bread, I’m less inclined to give God credit for providing it. Yet Scripture tells us everything that is good comes from God.[2] As we pray before meals and for our meals, we have an opportunity to recognize our dependence and give thanks to our God who graciously gives us all things.[3]

Avoiding Forgetfulness

“Our God is so good and merciful that he provides even for his chronically forgetful people.”

When our fridges are full and our pantries overflowing, forgetfulness often overflows, too. We overlook God, and we’re guilty of the same sin Hosea spoke against: “But when they had grazed, they became full, they were filled, and their heart was lifted up; therefore they forgot me” (Hosea 13:6).

Scripture speaks time and time again about our dependence on God, and many times God uses that theme of food to teach us of our dependence. In Exodus, the Israelites wandered in the desert and were fed manna from heaven, and in Jesus’ ministry he miraculously fed crowds of thousands of hungry people. Christ even teaches his disciples to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11).

We ask God for daily bread knowing he’s the one to provide it for us. The fact that many of us don’t remember to ask for our daily bread and it shows up anyway doesn’t mean we can take the credit. It means our God is so good and merciful that he provides even for his chronically forgetful people.

Practicing True Gratitude

A meal at the table is not just another meal. It’s a tangible answer to prayer—an answer that for many of us comes every day, three (or more) times a day. When we see our meals as provision from God’s hand, offering thanks for our food no longer remains an empty phrase. It’s true gratitude for the God who provides all our needs and plenty more.

“A meal at the table is a tangible answer to prayer.”

Our words of thanks are an act of worship that reminds us not just of our physical provision, but also of a spiritual reality. It’s not just our stomachs that need filling. The daily bread that we need is both physical and spiritual—and Christ points us to that truth. Shortly after feeding the five thousand, Jesus told the crowd, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world” (John 6:32-33). Praying for our daily bread and giving thanks for what he’s provided points us to who God is. Our physical needs lead us to the one who gives us life, not just in the form of sustenance but also in salvation.

As a family, God willing, we will have thousands of meals together. Some days, it will look chaotic. Other days, we’ll rush through prayer so we can dig into our food. But each evening, each dinner around the table is a chance for me to model dependence on God. It’s a chance for me to teach my kids that while I may have cooked the meal, ultimately we eat from his hand. And it’s a chance to offer thanks to our good and generous God.

To dive a little deeper, read Psalm 105. I’ve shared a few verses below. It’s a beautiful psalm of thanksgiving that retells some of the history of Israel and what God did for his people. Try using this psalm as a prayer before a meal, or consider writing your own family’s psalm of thanksgiving using Psalm 105 as a template.

“They asked, and he brought quail,
    and gave them bread from heaven in abundance.
He opened the rock, and water gushed out;
    it flowed through the desert like a river.
For he remembered his holy promise,
    and Abraham, his servant.

So he brought his people out with joy,
    his chosen ones with singing.
And he gave them the lands of the nations,
    and they took possession of the fruit of the peoples' toil,
that they might keep his statutes
    and observe his laws.
Praise the Lord!”

Psalm 105:40-45